Work 24/7 for $650 a month

These guys definitely win the "my job sucks more than yours" contest.

My Economic Stimulus Solution

Dear Barry,

It looks like this economic mess is making your term more difficult than you anticipated. There are a whole lot of people who are mad at your or really don't like you at all. There's more bickering going on than solutions in Washington, and it seems too much like that ole thing from elementary school "I don't like him because he doesn't like me and my friends."

I've got a solution to help you out. The way I figure it, there are 305,790,906 people in the United States right now. The stimulus bill your buddies in the Senate passed today costs $838 Billion bucks. Very few people are satisfied with the way you and your buddies want to spend those $838 billion buckaroos.

So, why don't you just split the $838 billion bucks between all of us 305,790,906 Americans? That's $2,740.43 per American. We're not really all that greedy. Let's round it to $2700 and you can keep $40.43. (You'd save $12,363,126,329.58 just by rounding down 40 bucks.)

Just give every American a check for $2,700 and tell them to spend it before you change your mind.

I've been thinking about what I would do with my check.

1. I would buy the Kindle 2: Amazon's New Wireless Reading Device (Latest Generation) for $359. (I'll even buy your books for it!)

2. I also want a new laptop. The Sony Vaio costs $1529.99.

(I've still got $811.01)

3. I would also invest in the local economy at the Spa at Oak Haven. Their Signature Series Package looks heavenly, and it only costs $480.

4. I would buy up 5 bottles of RareMinerals Purely Nourishing Facial Moisturizer because that stuff is AMAZING! That's $160, but there's a store near me that gives locals a 10% discount. That means I'd have $16 for lunch and dessert.

(I've still got $171.01.)

5. I'd have to go out to eat. Olive Garden has a very nice Black Tie Mousse Cake. I'll take a hundred bucks and tip well.

6. I gotta be honest. I'd take my last $71 to a local gas station to buy tickets from the Tennessee lottery. There are two benefits here: 1. I am investing in an opportunity to get more money with which I could continue to stimulate the economy. 2. I'm giving money to education in the state of Tennessee.

So I'll be waiting for the check. If you want to save on postage, just shoot me an email from the BlackBerry and I'll give you my bank info. Or we could just use PayPal if that works for you.

Don't worry, I'll help my husband spend his too.

Thanks!
Kesi

A message from John McCain

John McCain sent me a message on Facebook this morning.

Amnesty as Economic Stimulus

An amnesty would stimulate the economy? As pro-amnesty as I am, I just don't buy it.

Mexican Carlos Slim to Rescue the New York Times

A big American newspaper has to take a $250 million loan from a Mexican. We must really be in a recession.

I Stimulated the Economy Today

After being snowed in and sick for the past week, I really needed to get out of the house today. I'm running low on makeup, so I decided to go to Pigeon Forge and spend a gift certificate I got for Christmas.

I could drive at the speed limit (and sometimes above) in Pigeon Forge today! Crossing traffic wasn't a big deal. Tourist season is over for a few weeks, maybe a couple months at most. I took advantage of the situation.

The esposo and I had lunch at The Blue Moose. I've heard great things about their wings, but the esposo wasn't impressed. My burger was okay, but not the best I've ever had.

Then I went to The Colour Bar and Spa in Walden's Landing to spend my gift certificate (and a little more). They sell Bare Minerals makeup. I love Bare Minerals because it doesn't feel like I've rubbed my face in a mud hole. I'm excited because they've got a new skin care line, but as my luck goes, they had just sold their last pump of moisturizer. The good news is that means another trip for me this week when it comes in.

The Colour Bar also sells Bumble and Bumble hair products. I do sometimes feel a little stingy when I spend more than $10 on shampoo, but it is so worth it. Their thickening spray is a miracle tool for girls with limp locks like mine.

Then I went to Books a Million. It's the only real bookstore in the county. And some days it really doesn't qualify. I picked up the Obamessiah's book,The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream (Vintage) and a couple of magazines. I also got a wooden puzzle contraption for the esposo. It kept him occupied while I went Belk, but I'm going to have to do some Googling to find out how to put it back together.

My main goal in Belk was to find some new sunglasses since I stepped on mine a few weeks ago. Everything in the store was on sale. Exept sunglasses. And I refuse, no matter how much the economy is depending on me, to spend $40 on cheap sunglasses.

The Belk trip wasn't a total waste. I did find a cute shirt and a pair of pants for less than $35. The pants only cost $11! Walmart pants cost more than that. The only problem is, every pair of black pants I tried on were long enough for 7 foot Amazonians. I'm going to have to learn how to hem because local seamstresses charge a small fortune.

So I'm proud of myself today. I did my patriotic part to help the economy, I stimulated my brain, and I exercised self control in three stores. It was a good day.